I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
