so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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