i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
