She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
