hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just google imaged poop.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize