We won't sleep together?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
