So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize