AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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