There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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