Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
