It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
