Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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