My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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