so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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