Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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