I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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