I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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