I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The Olympian is in my bed
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
