Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
