Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
