You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
