I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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