bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize