I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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