hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
