I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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