I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
