I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize