How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
