Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
