oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
