Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
