how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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