Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
