Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
