Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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