there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
