my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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