she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
