There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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