You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
