I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
