guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize