Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
