yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
