I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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