apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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