her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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