Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
This baby is an asshole
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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