Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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