all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
