I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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