o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
