i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
