he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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