Girls should come with a carfax report
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
