what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you didnt know i had herpes?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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